I’ve been letting myself sink into a deep black hole for a while now. I’ve let myself go down deeper and deeper without thinking of the consequences. I’ve let my mind go on its own. I didn’t grab the reigns and remind myself I’m in control. I’ve been losing control of the very thing I’ve always told myself I control: my happiness. And the moment I forgot that, I let things get out of hand. Ive let relationships sink, I’ve let things go, I’ve forgotten who I am. It’s not fair to myself or to those around me who love me. It took me this point where I’m sitting waiting to go into work, realizing just how much I am blessed in this life. I’ve let my own black uncontrollable hole give me a false advertisement of what my life is and can be. I’ve forgotten the true blessings of what being alive meant. I’ve taken advantage of the love people have for me. It’s gotten me to a low point right now. And I couldn’t feel worse about it. But I think I can overcome this. Scratch that. I know I can. My dad didn’t raise a weakling who can’t get this on her own. I forget how much of a Leo I really am. And how strong I can be. I’ve lost more in this life besides just my psyche. I’ve lost things that were dear to me that should have killed me at such a young age. But it didn’t. And I know this won’t kill me. I’ll pull myself out of this whether it kills me to do so. I will make sure my head comes back to the light. I was doing so good. Where I went wrong, I couldn’t tell you. But I won’t keep going down that road. I will keep myself afloat. For my sake and for my loved ones sake. But mostly, for the people I’ve made unhappy allowing myself to sink while they have latched themselves on to save them and myself. I’m sorry. I’ll do better for you.